So, I have some cool co-workers, mostly.
I told them I hit a bird on the way in to work, and this was the super supportive email I recieved from a caring co-worker.

Birds are extraordinarily communicative creatures, and carry a grudge. As you read this sentence, thousands and thousands of them are preparing for take-off, southward, to Fairmont. The skies will blacken as wave after wave of armed apiary warriors seek revenge and will not be satisfied with mere retribution, only with resounding victory over the despicable ground dwelling bipeds.

Perhaps this will teach you, Mess not with Brother Bird.

Oh my.....